How to Scare Fear Out of Your Life

It’s the day after Halloween. Here in our part of the world, the kids have a day off from school, I guess to deal with the “Halloween Hangover?”

All the scary movies on TV this past week got me thinking about fear, and some of the strategies available to handle fear.

There are many successful strategies for dealing with fear in your life. What I’ll offer you today are a variety of strategies, each of which can stand alone or can be used in conjunction with each other.

One is to realize that everyone is afraid from time to time. Some people show it. Some people don’t, which makes them look like they have it all together and are never afraid.

Every teenage boy knows the fear of rejection that causes him to hang up when the girl he wants to ask for a date answers the phone.

If you will consider the situation, or any fear of rejection, from a different perspective, I believe it will give you some power over fear. When the boy makes the phone call, he starts out not having a date. If he asks and she says yes, he has gained a date. If she says no, he has what he had when he started, no date. He hasn’t lost anything and he has no regrets.

That point of view can help turn fear of rejection on its head.

FEAR means

There are two acronyms for fear that I have found useful. One is that fear stands for

Forget Everything And Run.

Another is that fear stands for

False Evidence Appearing Real.

Many times our fear convinces our brains to search for evidence to support our feeling afraid. Our brains can always find evidence to support any fear.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said,

“Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.”

When it comes to facing and conquering fears, practice, practice, practice is the key. Doing little things that you fear, over and over, forces the fear to flee.

This may sound crazy, but with practice it can become a challenge, even fun.

Let’s put some hands and feet on these ideas by giving you two specific techniques for conquering fear.

Two Specific Techniques

The first comes from Mark Victor Hansen and Jack Canfield, co-authors of the “Chicken Soup for the Soul” series. In their book on the power of asking, “The Aladdin Factor” (Berkley Books, $13), the authors devote an entire chapter to the conquering of fear.

One of the most useful techniques is a two-part sentence completion. The first sentence is, “When it comes to asking for what I want, I’m afraid to …” In the second sentence, for each example in the first, change the sentence to say “I would really like to – and I scare myself by imagining … ” They key word here is imagining. Once we realize and face how we are scaring ourselves, we are well on the way to conquering our fears.

Here’s another useful technique: Take a blank sheet of paper. On one side draw a timeline from birth to the present. On the timeline, mark and date all the times in your life that you have been hindered by fear.

Now turn the page over. On one end of the page write down a major dream or goal in your life, and make a list of all the steps necessary to reach that dream or goal. Turn the paper back over and look at the timeline. That’s the past. You have no control over it and can’t do anything about it, except learn from it. Turn the paper over and put it behind you.

On this side of the paper is your present and future. You can do plenty about your future. You, not fear, can decide how this side of the paper will look.

About The Author

Jeff Herring

Discover 5 simple steps for 6 figure success online with content marketing.


  • DonTheFlasher

    Reply Reply

    It is so true, our brains pump out every bad situation that can happen. Some are unrealist. Some are, what could relly happen and these are the ones we fear the most.

  • oooh, I’m going to do the “blank piece of paper” exercise for the fear that’s been popping up for me lately… I think the solution for this fear is scheduled for the day right before Thanksgiving… a very good sign from above I think…! 😀

  • This is great, Jeff. The most important thing for me is to always recognize everyone has fear. Because if I compare myself to someone who always looks like they have it together, it can scare me even more. But realizing they may just be good at “fake it til you make it,” it gives me inspiration and motivation because then they are a good person to model.

  • So true! We tackle tasks and chores every day, but how often do we tackle our fears? For self-growth, we need to work on our fears, because that’s what is usually holding us back.

    Jeff, thanks for the inspiration and the reminder to keep forging on!


  • What an excellent post! This should help many people very concretely. Most fear seems to be fear of failure. For sure, if we don’t attempt something, we will fail for lack of action.

    Jeff, you always give nuggets of gold. Thank you for this one.


  • Molly

    Reply Reply

    I like the fear-reducing exercises you outlined (and love the blog as a whole). It really does help to get it all to get fears out on paper– somehow when they’re all floating around namelessly in your head, they seem a lot harder to tackle.


  • Great advice, Jeff. Fear can represent the extent to which we’re experiencing overwhelm, lack of self confidence, and even low self esteem. The two exercises are wonderful for putting things back in perspective.


  • Elizabeth Barhydt

    Reply Reply


    I believe in
    1. Putting out for what I want and not addicted to getting it
    2. Feel good about what you want (don’t be wishy washy
    3. Accept what ever happens for now
    4. Turn up the love even though you do not get what you want

    Less stress no fear.

  • Jeff, this is a great article. I really like the life timeline exercise. Not only is it emotionally cathartic, it provides a visual aspect to what has been missed in life due to fear. Another use for this exercise would be to begin the process of decreasing the effect of negative life scripts that we all carry with us, usually beginning in childhood.

  • Selma

    Reply Reply

    I loved your blog – Is fear not the reason why it is so difficult
    to start a new project – the fear of failure? Your blog is an inspiration! Thanks.

  • Linda Schneider

    Reply Reply

    Jeff, these are terrific! Another I’ve heard is this:
    Fear is basically a FEELING designed to keep us from doing something that will embarrass us, hurt us, shame us, etc. To overcome the fear, find the place in the body where the feeling seems to be the strongest, then just focus on the spot of feeling, blocking everything else out. Eventually the feeling of fear calms down and passes.

  • Great subject Jeff. I noticed pretty much everyone seems to talk about and relate to fear of failure.

    There is another, even more serious aspect of fear – that is fear of success. Most don’t even realize how it sabotages their efforts.

    Think about this for example, let’s say if you were to achieve success, you might worry that your family would not be safe or perhaps you might lose everything and be totally embarassed.

    Fear not confronted is dangerous. It is human nature to be negative, so accepting the fear does a lot to diffuse it’s power over us. Then it becomes easier to move forward.

    Thanks for inspiring the thoughts Jeff.


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